I got the job at Duke's and yesterday was my 3rd day running drinks at the pool--I was finally on my own. Afterwards, I went to this awesome reggae concert on the beach. I had a great time dancing in the sand and I even met this amazing girl, who I danced with all night.
I have been sober on my own for approximately one and a half weeks now. I had a dream last night that one of my best friends, Eric, became a successful poet, which would be pretty kick ass. I miss all of my friends from Milwaukee and its weird starting over in a place like Maui, Hi. It's quite surreal going from Wisconsin to an Island in the Pacific. I've never felt so alone in my life; however, I have never been so content with being alone in my life either.
Besides I'm not alone. My amazing aunt has given me a place to stay and has helped me more than I can ever imagine. It's been nice finally getting to know her.
For the first time in my life, having fun isn't about getting shitfaced, smoking a bunch of pot, occasionally doing coke, and then trying to sleep with different women. It's crazy to think that just a few months ago I was tripping balls in Madison, Wi--running around in the middle of the night. In fact, one night when I was tripping in Mad Town, I remember walking up State Street on a cold, crisp morning. The moon was huge, the size of a football field in the sky--it was bright orange with a dash of pink and perched right above the capital building. The grey clouds were floating in front of it and a star was glowing and glistening in the midst. I felt like a wolf--dominant, fearless, and heroic. I had a need to fight for what I believe in no matter how uncomfortable or dangerous the situation. This led to the new found motto of my life: if you truly believe something is right, then fucking fight for what you believe in.
Before I started writing this entry today, I met this older gentleman at the coffee shop who is always chilling and feeding the birds. Really cool person. He told me to read the book, Don't Stop the Carnival, by Herman Wouk. Anyways he told me the following thing...
Owner of an Art Galleries Great Advice:
*There are 3 types of people in the World
The people who make it happen
The people who watch it happen
And the people who wonder, "what just happened?"
Since being sober, I have been able to do whatever it is I put my mind to. There is no greater gift, then the gift of life. I feel as though I am a child again: wondering what everything is made of, where everyone is going, what they're doing, and feeling as though I am able to see the good in everyone.
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