MB Journal Entries: #3 October 20th, 2013 - Moose McGillicuddy's


I went to Moose McGillicuddy's last Saturday night and got kind of hammered off Jameson shots and shitty domestic beers: Miller Lite, Coors Lite, and all the other cans of water that cause your bladder to swell up like a giant, water balloon.

I'm getting shitfaced and watching some football when all of a sudden I find myself chatting it up with these two beautiful, blonde girls, who just happen to be sitting next to me. We get to talking, this and that; I say, "I'm from Wisconsin."

They reply, "Cool. We're from Sweden."

I think to myself, "Wow. Sweden. The land full of beautiful, blonde women. Next stop for me is Sweden baby." Anyways I tell them, "Holy shit. Sweden. No way. That flight must have taken forever."

Next thing you know we're talking about festivals and their plans for their trip and yada yada. I still think they may have been girlfriends, which is why I wasn't able to make a move, but they were definitely two of the coolest girls I have met on this Island so far and I wish them the best on their 5-Week, Hawaiian Adventure.

Later on that night, I bought 3 beers at once. I know what you're thinking, but no it wasn't like that. They had a minimum on my card so I had to buy 3 at once. What? Was I just going to leave my card open. I digress. I go relax by the balcony with my 3 beers because I knew absolutely no one and I was too shy to spit some game on the ladies. To my surprise, an older woman--must have been in her late forties--begins to get naked, and then proceeds to dance smack dab in the middle of Front Street in Lahaina, like Christina Aguilera in the Genie in a Bottle music video. I'm wondering, "what the hell does this lady think she is doing.", while all the other guys are wondering, "How fast can I get my phone out so I can videotape this." In a matter of seconds, there are nearly 30 cell phones out videotaping this woman. I mean this cannot go on any longer. I slam my 2nd and 3rd beer, run downstairs and outside, grab the woman's shirt from the street and say, "Hey you should probably put your shirt back on?"

She looks at me, pushes out her belly, and says, "Do I look pregnant? I think I look pregnant."

I hand her her shirt and reply, "I don't know, but if you were pregnant, it probably wouldn't be such a good idea to drink." She puts her shirt back on literally seconds before the cops come up and arrest her.

I run back upstairs to the bar and all of sudden all of these cute women start to compliment me, give me hugs, and cheer me on for being such a nice guy. Who'd a thought. I just wish I wasn't so drunk that I could've at least gotten some numbers.

Rule #1 to finding a nice girl: Be yourself, go against the societal norm, keep it cool, and be heroic if given the chance and it isn't too dangerous--if you catch my drift.

Rule #2: Do Not Get Too Drunk. I REPEAT: DO NOT GET TOO DRUNK!!! And if you can't do that, then don't drink at all.

The next day I ran all the way to the airport sign which is a little over a mile away. I was taking a break, pacing back and forth with my hands pressed against the top of my head, and gasping for air. Then out of nowhere a guy ran by and told me to turn around and keep running. His name was Blake and we ran for a mile together. He was from Sacramento and he told me that he had been living on the Island for a year and a half now. He signed up for the 5K race coming up and said that he probably wasn't ready for it. Anyway he was a cool guy and he motivated me to keep running everyday and go for my next dream. So I'm going to keep shooting for the gold and who knows I might just run up the steep hill, Airport Road, sometime.

Well tomorrow I start my first day of training at Duke's Beach House. I'm pumped and ready to see how it turns out.

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